no. you can't hotbox the world.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
