11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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