But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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