Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize