Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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