she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize