This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
