i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
