their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
