ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
