good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
