Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize
