I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
