i just had sex bonerless
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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