Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize