im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
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