he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
