the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
