every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
