Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
