I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
