how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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