We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize