Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
