is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
