yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
