Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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