All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
