I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
