Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
