Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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