I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
