bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
