North Korea, Best Korea!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
