I want to have your abortion
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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