You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
