I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He better not be in your backpack
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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