I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
