So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
