windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
