You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
