just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
They took my balls.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
