There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Still dying that you shit outside
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
