Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You can't motorboat a personality
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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