I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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