I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm really busy with my period
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