then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
