Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
