I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
