I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
