and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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