what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
