??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
