Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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