Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
