So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i need some magic done to my vagina
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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