no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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