you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just had sex on a roof
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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