when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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