put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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