just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
