I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Let's paint friendship bongs
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
wow bdsm is so cute
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
