BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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